Welcome to this series on Self-Healing. I hope you find the readings thought provoking and inspiring. Please enjoy.
Almost all of us have this one common destructive daily habit, that is, to compare ourselves to others. We compare houses, jobs, phones, cars, relationships, money, and social position and so on. What this habit does is creates negativity within us and this may also reflect in our behavior. So, what should we do? How can we get rid of this habit of comparing? If this is what you are now thinking, then the three tips given below will surely prove to be of help.
- Understand that you never will win if you do not stop comparing
Even if you keep repeating this in your mind, and realize this consciously, it will help. Despite whatever you do, how much efforts you put in, how hard you strive, there always must be someone who is better than you or has more than you.
Of course, you may feel nice if you buy a new smartphone which is better than the one your colleague has. But soon you will find someone who has a phone better than yours. So, understand that comparing is futile.
- If at all, compare yourself only to yourself
Rather than comparing yourself with others, it will be better if you develop the habit of comparing yourself to your own self. Sit back and think how much you have progressed, how much you have grown, and how close you have reached towards your aims.
This habit will help develop kindness, appreciation, and gratitude towards yourself as you notice how much you have done, and all the hurdles you have crossed. So you will be feeling good about yourself without feeling less of others.
It will be a good idea to make this a habit, say by spending a few minutes every weekend to write down how much you have achieved, how closer you now are to your life goals, what you have learned, etc.
- Learn to be kind
Perhaps you never might have even imagined so, but the way you behave with others also has an impact on how you think about yourself. If you have this habit of always criticizing and judging others, chances are bright you will also criticize and judge yourself often, even if unconsciously. So, try to help others and be kinder to them and you automatically will learn to be kinder to yourself.
Just try to focus on the positive things in life, the positives in others, and the positives within yourself. The more you start seeing just the good things in others and in yourself, you gradually will stop comparing, and lead a happier and more satisfied life.
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Nick Thorne is the founder of Nick’s Digital Solutions Limited. He lives in Levin, New Zealand.